It was my Dad’s 65th birthday this week. He hasn’t spoken to me in maybe a year and a half. It became clear to him a few months after coming out as trans that it wasn’t something I was willing to let him ignore, so he could continue pretending I was someone I’ve never been. I don’t know where he stands now. I’m fairly sure he wouldn’t want to speak to me if I called and I really don’t want to put either of us through that.
Both my parents have found this hard. My birthday and Christmas cards up until now have arrived with Daughter on them, and nothing written inside. Since I came out these cards also come with no gift. And the reasoning my mum gave me is “It’s hard to remember”.
Which I get. It’s two years down the line and I’m only just getting to the point where, in my mental processes, I refer automatically to myself as male – and even now, not 100% of the time. So I get it. Automatically shopping for a card that says Daughter. Bust once having made the mistake, they compound it by continuing as if that’s ok. It doesn’t really matter. It’s only says Daughter instead of Son.
By the time a group of women and men returned to the shack, bearing assorted guns, objects both sharp and dull, and a selection of flammables, Viscura was long gone. The small mob burned the shack to the ground anyway, and slowly dispersed, grumbling softly.
Viscura had fled through the woods, out the other side, and was halfway back to the only place ze knew ze had friends before ze slowed down. Finding a field of quietly grazing cows, ze settled down against the hedge, out of obvious sight, and thought hard.
I’ve been quietly mulling over what to say today for a little while. There’s so much good and so much bad, and so much that will be said much better and to a much wider audience.
The last year has felt a lot like a battleground over gender, not just for me personally but in the wider world. For every story about a trans person who has committed suicide or been murdered, or a bill being proposed or passed to allow discrimination, there’s been another story of love and acceptance and people learning to stand up for themselves and others to make things better.