Becoming Me: almost time

Earlier this month I toddled along to the gender clinic in Nottingham for my 4th visit. I was a little nervous, not sure what to expect after the assessments were over but, as stubborn as ever, I wiped any fear from my face or posture, and in I went.

Turns out that one thing which can make me lose my cool exterior is being asked searching questions about why I don’t date. Who knew! Well…now I do. Unfortunately so does the psychiatrist. But never mind!

That aside, it was good stuff. I have in my possession a copy of the letter sent to my GP requesting “some baseline blood investigations”…
And when they say “some”, what they mean is “LOTS”.
I had to google a good portion of them to to figure out what in the hell they’re gonna be testing me for. Skip below if the technical stuff bores you – stay here if your curious mind wishes to know:
Full blood count – general health, red & white blood cells, anaemia
U&Es – urea & electrolytes – blood chemistry, fluid levels, general stuff like dehydration and kidneys.
glucose – blood sugar, diabetes check
LFTs – liver function
lipids – heart, blood vessels, cholesterol, fat.
oestradiol – estrogen levels
LH – luteinizing hormone levels, fertility related both male and female
FSH – follicle stimulating hormone levels, eggs and sperm stuff.
SHBG – sex hormone binding globulin levels, made by liver to carry estrogen; dihydrotestosterone, and testosterone around the blood.
testosterone – testosterone levels
prolactin – another hormone, mainly stimulates lactation in women.

There, now we both know some new stuff. Anyway, onwards!

Next step for me is to give my GP a couple of days to get the letter into the system, then call and make an appointment for have lots of blood taken to be tested.

If ALL of those tests come back looking ok, then the psychiatrist writes again to my GP to ask them to begin hormone treatment.

What that means in the first instance, is an injection by GP (hopefully by me) of a hormone compound named Sustanon, every 3 weeks. And then the changes begin.

I want to say I’m totally prepared for the changes but…I really can’t. I know as much as I can do what to expect, though exactly how the unique thing that is me will change I won’t know until it happens. That scares me a little.
I can’t imagine that, even if this treatment does what it should – which is to help my outsides start to match my insides – I won’t have some trouble adjusting to what I see in the mirror, what I feel as my body changes, even the small personality changes that are likely. I have allowed myself no turning away from the knowledge that it’s going to be epically weird.I’m figuring that regular blogs alongside regular photos will do a decent job of showing my path through this. The good bits and the hard bits, as always. I hope it’ll help me, and I hope it’ll help someone else understand.
With that in mind, allow me to introduce my new instagram account at
Behold my first, slightly awkward, photo… Give it some love if you have a sec :)
That’s me for now. Peace & love x

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